flashbacks

I recently received an email - work related. I didn't like it. In fact, it managed to stir up these emotions and feelings that ultimately culminated in what I term stress. It can be found below but details have been replaced.


Joke a side. I was informed that you were the Safety Equipment officer of xxx Sqn at the time when the sqn was closing and you were the one that returned all the remain helmets to safety equipment section. However, there are a few of us whose helmets were not signed in and Miss xxx (ALSE) has problem locating our helmets. If not close we will have to sign SAF1206. Can you remember who in Safety equip section that you return all the helmets to. I am goiing ORD soon and I need to trace my helmet, so are many many others that will ORD soon...


Tell me what you think of this email. Does it sound like he is pointing an accusing finger at me? That I didn't do my job properly? I would just like to mention that helmets are items that are issued as a personal item. It's like wiping your own ass after you take a crap. Maybe it's just me.... being oversensitive.

While I'm in my state of oversensitivity, many thoughts ran through my mind. It was a stark reminder of what working life would be like in the near future. Very near future in fact, now that my graduation draws nearer and nearer. I was reminded of why I decided that I HAD to take a break from work. I remembered how weak the system was because of the people who ran it. I remembered how angry I was with the people I thought I could trust and depend upon; the same ones I'm supposed to trust and to go to war with as my wingmen and flight leads; the ones who claim to be impartial and deal with matters of work with the 'big picture' in mind, but in fact are just overwhelmed by their larger than real-life egos. Their impartiality skewed towards their self-interest and laziness and unwillingness to work and the fear of making mistakes and not being brave enough to stand up and admit them.

I can only hope that life gets better upon my return to the service. But I am not optimistic. And it's good - to not expect. I was told that upon my return, I would no longer be the junior without the qualifications and that I should get out of the "junior" mentality.... I should.

Would I become someone like little fish mentioned?

I thank all those people who took their time to 'counsel' me with their valuable pieces of advice.

And to all you 'dinosaurs', "balls to you!!"